Halloween 2009

I had the most bizarre night that I almost don't know how to articulate.  But I will try.  

My husband is out of town this weekend so I decided to go ahead and plan something fun for Halloween.  Recently I made a new friend, I'll call her Tube Top.  TT is my neighbor and we met about 2 months ago.  She is the kind of person that will drink with you until you pass out and take you out for Bloody Mary's on her tab as soon as you come to.  She's spontaneous and has an unending supply of energy that comes from god-knows-where.  She doesn't work and is supported by her wealthy father who supposedly doesn't know she isn't working or has a suspended license for her DUI.  I met her parents and it's true.  So TT is a character.  She is also the kind of person that is so well guarded that I think even she doesn't know who she is.  I call her friend but she is an acquaintance at best.  I know she doesn't know this because one day she said to me, "You don't have many girlfriends do you?  I mean no offense."  None taken because I have a ton and none of them will ever meet her.

A few weeks ago Tube Top asked me if I wanted to go to a swanky Halloween party with her at the W Hotel. A classy joint for sure and an eye out for plans why would I refuse?  Not wanting to spend any money on a costume I borrowed a risque referee costume she had stuffed in the corner of her bottom drawer.  The party started at 8:30. She arrived after midnight.

When I got to her place at 9:30 she didn't have a stitch of makeup on and was waiting on another friend to arrive.  After 1/2 hour I decided to meet up and go ahead with another group of friend's that TT had recruited for this party.  

The party was something.  As something as a party would be in the massive ballroom of a 5 star hotel with over 800 people dressed up in their holiday best.  Awesome that I went.  I will never do it again.  

I know Tube Top arrived with her equally awesome acquaintance in tow.  We saw them before they left after staying for about 1/2 hr.  I went out for a quick smoke, got a text from TT who wound up at out Divers, our local favorite bar.  Already several drinks deep and drunk I spotted a cab on this hectic night and hopped in to join them.  

When we got back to our building she offered to walk my dog.  I gave her my keys and passed out on her bed.  Upon her arrival I decided it was time to go.  My keys were no where to be found.  I'll tell you there are no words that can express how annoying 3 drunk people in a studio trying to figure out what happened to lost keys can be.  Tube Top obviously got into my apartment to get my dog.  She swore on her life she gave the keys back to me which was impossible because I was in bed.  TT's friend chimed in and told me I had them because she walked my dog.  Exactly.  It made no sense.  So I gave up and curled up in a fetal position on an oversized chair in her studio.  TT cranked up the music at 3 am.  Another friend shows up at 4.  TT decides she wants to get more drunk.  It's loud and I decide that I need to make like I'm knocked out in a theater with surround sound in order to keep it all together.  I go to pee.  I see my reflection and I look like a cheap hooker out of hell.  

I'm staring at the clock, only 3 more hours to go before the office opens and they can let me back home.  Wait.  Today is Daylight Savings Time.  Fuck me.  

To top this all off I'm dog sitting my friend's dog this weekend.  I have the keys to his apartment.  I know this because TT and her friend keep reminding me that I do in fact have my keys as they point to not-my-keys repeatedly throughout the night.  9 am and 1 hour to go.  Wait, make that 2.  I go to my friend's to walk his dog and pass out on his couch.  Why didn't I do this 6 hours ago?

Six hours have passed and I am still in a daze from last night's events.  I look in mirror before hopping into the shower to wash off the day old washed up hooker look.  I decide it's not a good look for me.